As human beings, I believe all of us have plans. Goals, targets, or whatever it is you want to accomplish in life. I know I did. The fact that it's already the fourth month of 2016 baffles me because that means my first single is already one year old. I had a pretty good feeling that my album was going to be released within a year of the launch of Reason. During those 12 months, I wrote. I daydreamed about how the album was going to sound like. And then I wrote again. After that, I imagined being filled with euphoria once the album was finished. Then I wrote again. The cycle continued until I realized a year has passed. No album. No single. And just like that, I hit rock bottom. I beat myself up all over again for not "walking the talk". So I stopped writing. As much as I wanted to, I just could not write. Everything that came out of me musically, I condemned. The words, the melodies, the chord progressions: ALL TRASH. I basically made myself believe that music was not my path afterall. Tears became my daily bread and anger was constant.

...And out of that frustration and fear, Against Time is born.

A song I wrote about dealing with pressure and stagnation. It's about comparing myself to others who are 10 steps ahead. It's about making extremely slow progress while time gets faster and faster everytime I blink. Last but not least, it's a song about being a perfectionist borderline destructive.

I am a perfectionist. To the point where it just destroys so many parts of me, including my self-esteem, my courage and my creativity. I put so much expectations on my own two shoulders that made it impossible for me to move forward. When I began writing, I always strived for a paragon. Then I asked myself: what in the world is perfection, especially in art? It's a tough question because the answer is always going to be elusive. Something that can never be achieved. But between what I have achieved and my idea of perfection, there is this space... a beautiful space called growth. And my God, please help me to always choose to grow than to be perfect. 

Thus eventually, this song is about being happy with where you are because there is always time for everything. One thing that I really wanted to tell you is that the past 12 months had been the most wonderful journey. And the reason for that is surrender. I surrendered to the flow of the universe. I surrendered to God's plan. Because His plan has always been and will always be grander than mine. From time to time, my freaky controlling behavior would start crawling back in. But now it's easier to just trust the process.

Just like that, my burden was lifted. And writing once again became therapeutic.

So here you go, another one of my songs that is far from perfect but I really love. I hope you can appreciate the vulnerability of the music as much as the fierceness of Reason. I wish I could give all of you a hug.

Much Love,

E

P.S: The biggest ever thank you to my producer, Tendra Leonard, for making this possible for me. Your patience in dealing with my tantrums deserves an award.

Coret coret. Yes, I'm a lefty.

When sleepers sleep, writers write. Countless all-nighters.

My two super-producers making things happen. Seriously love them to bits.

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